Digvijay Singh Revolution

Disclaimer: This article is entirely a work of fiction,(well, not entirely). In case you are a congress supporter or Digvijay Singh's fan and you find it offensive, please don't try to empower me by sending videos of Rahul Gandhi's speeches, I have got balls and I mean it literally!

After Digvijay Singh admitted to his relationship with Amrita Rai, his popularity took a high ride.
Apparently, engineering students all over the country now consider him their idol and want to emulate his feat. Pappu, an ardent bollywood fan admitted to replacing the idol of Salman Khan in his room with that of a customized statue of Digvijay Singh. Lots of cigarettes and gutkhas were spotted in his room, which he said, were helping him get in a poor shape like Diggi Uncle and hence achieve his goal easily. Pappu's right hand considers Diggi uncle's relationship as a silver lining and is hopeful of getting a long needed extended vacation.

Meanwhile, the number of vagabonds outside the prestigious School of Journalism has increased exponentially. When enquired, they said they were hopeful of catching eyeballs of a girl or two.
"When Diggi uncle can find his love in a journalist, I can find my love here too", said Munna while trying desperately to get that last bit of gutkha from the pouch.

This relationship has influenced many a lives. Arnab Goswami filed a complaint against a 100 year old woman alleging that she was following him everywhere in an attempt to make him fall in love with her. In his complaint he quoted his viewers who strongly believed in his integrity.
We expect everything to get back to normal in a day or two, since the company manufacturing Viagra has planned its shutdown in this period. Till then, keep calm and admire the talent of Diggi Chacha.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Things Done: A Beginner's Guide

Buddha said the world is full of suffering, and I have scrolled enough social media to realize that is indeed the case. Heck, it feels like doomsday is around the corner. There is just misery all around. Everyone has got something which needs to be done!   There are problems spanning decades and unresolved issues plaguing generations, and this is without counting the Indian men's cricket team's propensity to lose in knockout matches. Therefore, to no one's surprise, the modern world is looking for problem solvers, people who can deconstruct these multi-layered, nuanced points of contention and arrive at an acceptable solution.   With 29 years of experience at being alive, a few months at an MNC and now 2 odd months in government, I have some ideas that should help a newcomer become the go-to man for any crisis. Like any other success guru, these are not at all well-researched and are purely anecdotal in nature.    Let's start with the primary answer to problems - money.
Read more

Comfortably Numb

Image
I have heard it a lot. It's all over movies, books, podcasts and WhatsApp forwards. Life ought to be enjoyed. Wake up, seize the day, Watch the sunset, go hiking! It all feels inspiring and transcendental. Anything out of the routine must be good, I suppose.  But I must admit, I just don't get it. It doesn't do the trick, or I may not be cut out for it. I have gone out with friends to watch the sun rise or set innumerable times. There are always murmurs of the extraordinary beauty of the phenomenon. If some lake or sea is on the horizon, the excitement levels are off the charts. And there, I feel like a UPSC topper being asked about tips and tricks to clear the exam. I can act like I know what's happening, but that's a facade we all like to collectively believe in. It might feel that I have an agenda against the sun, but my numbness isn't limited to the sun. I am trying to figure out why I should be amazed by the clouds. The planes have taken me over them, lit
Read more

The Power of Unmanifesting

Image
Rohit Sharma had been timing the ball well, Shami was on song, and Kohli had never been more determined. The 2023 Cricket World Cup could not have come at a better time. The Indian team was riding high on form and practice. In a quiet corner of Kolkata, Abhishek had been manifesting this. An ardent fan of the Indian cricket team, he has been manifesting this situation since 2019. Brick by brick, he visualised each batsman getting into a particular role, each bowler perfecting their wide yorkers. But by 2023, it was too much for God. God had grown increasingly tired of the constant bitching and interference of Abhishek in his plans. S/he originally wanted India to win the cup, but Abhishek annoyed him more than the pop-up ads. No wonder India faltered at the last step! Manifestation is the buzzword these days. It has taken over the world by storm. People are manifesting to lose weight, start a business, or get a degree. However, it is all hogwash, a product of the greased wheels o
Read more