The Do's and Don'ts on the internet

Internet is not something you are unaware of, given that you are reading this post in the first place. With the internet community growing at a faster rate than ever before, it becomes important for every internet user to learn how to save his/her ass from getting whipped in public on internet.

I am quite sure most of you would have fantasized about becoming popular on internet, being the cool guy and everything. The trick is simple. You ought to follow some simple rules to be the internet dude.
  • Worship Eminem:
An internet dude likes Eminem and has learned every popular rap song of Eminem by rote. Ask him about the greatest rap artist of all time and he would say Eminem. Wake him up while he is sleeping and ask him to sing rap god. He will do that and follow it with a middle finger salute to you. 

  • Hate Justin Bieber and One direction:



 Never ever tell anyone that you have liked Justin Bieber or One direction at any point of your life. An internet stud believes that Bieber and 1-D don't deserve to be on this planet. They are "faggots" and are worthless. If someone posts something positive about these artists, an internet dude puts his war cape on, turns on his CAPS, exercises his fingers a bit and goes into FIGHT LIKE A SPARTAN mode.

  • Feminism:
If you want to walk out as the winner in a debate about any random stuff which has a remote connection to women, all you need to do is to yell that you are a feminist. The other person would automatically be labelled as a sexist. Now, brush you collars, dust your fingers and continue with the slut porn you were watching.

  • Football Pundit:
This is an important key to becoming cool on internet. Make sure you have a favourite player at every position, favourite team in every important tournament and don't forget to support it by changing your Facebook profile picture regularly. If possible, take a little time out, go to Google, and keep updating everyone about the state of matches over Facebook.

  • Bashing Bollywood movies:
This is the simplest of all. Go out there on internet, tell everyone how much you hate Bollywood, that they copy everything from Hollywood. Make sure you emphasize upon the lack of script in Bollywood movies. Once you are done with this, you can continue booking the tickets of Dabangg on bookmyshow.

  • Displaying patriotism at every national holiday
An internet dude posts patriotic messages on Facebook at independence day, republic day and Gandhi Jayanti. He changes his Facebook profile picture to tricolour  with a caption like "I love my country #hashtag". 

These are just some of the many tricks to become the INTERNET STUD. There might be more depending upon your demography, but these suffice for most of the people out there.For now, cheers mates! *cling*


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