Buying steroids for debates
It is impressive, bigger and better than what I imagined it to be. It is situated in the heart of Delhi but remains hidden. The market of ideological jargon is booming and is filled with teeming buyers for the most part of the day.
There is something for everyone here. Much inspired by the penchant of Trump for good deals, my right-wing friend who accompanied me got a great deal himself. The shopkeeper gave him a complimentary list of Islamic countries where people could be asked to go when he purchased a bottle of nationalism. I was amazed and kept looking around.
My eyes soon fixated on a big store. I took leave from my friend who by then had taken a dose to test the efficacy of the potion. While I was wandering around the store, I managed to catch hold of a salesperson (no, not salesman! I bought tablets of political correctness myself). He was helpful and gave me a detailed account of this hidden market. I remember a part of the conversation which I have jotted down for your reference.
His subtle dig on my intelligence put me off. I realized I had learned enough for the day and it was time for me to wind up.
"Sounds cool... Thanks! But I guess I will pass. Sorry for bothering you..."
He took some pills, gulped them in and thanked me politely for visiting the store. Those were the famed pills of political correctness. Good for me!
There is something for everyone here. Much inspired by the penchant of Trump for good deals, my right-wing friend who accompanied me got a great deal himself. The shopkeeper gave him a complimentary list of Islamic countries where people could be asked to go when he purchased a bottle of nationalism. I was amazed and kept looking around.
My eyes soon fixated on a big store. I took leave from my friend who by then had taken a dose to test the efficacy of the potion. While I was wandering around the store, I managed to catch hold of a salesperson (no, not salesman! I bought tablets of political correctness myself). He was helpful and gave me a detailed account of this hidden market. I remember a part of the conversation which I have jotted down for your reference.
"Hey! Wanted to know about the products you sell. What is this all about?"
"We sell everything that you may need to fight wars on twitter or facebook. Haven't you ever felt that you were in a twitter debate and were running short of arguments and jargon? Or the times when you landed in a controversy because of some very stupid reason? Well, we provide solutions to these problems."
"I didn't get you. Could you elaborate?"
"It's really simple. While everyone has to engage in Twitter wars, no one really knows how to go about it. Say you are a left winger. You will end up receiving a plethora of choicest abuses by right-wing trolls, some right wingers will even come to you with arguments. To deal with these kinds of situations, you can buy our "potion of jargon to sound educated". It contains terms like sexist, racist, illiterate, xenophobic, casteist, fundamentalist and many more. These terms will automatically come out of you. You begin to identify these in every situation. If you take the advanced course, you will even be able to create these in different situations. Basically, you will end up staying at the top, in any discussion! Our guarantee!"
"And what do you have for a right-winger?"
"That's elementary, sir! The jar of nationalism sells most these days. Pills of religious identity are another great hit. These are some really good products. They never grow old. In our overseas stores, people buy denial of climate change as well, doesn't sell much in India though. "
"That's cool. And what about someone like me? I don't really have any particular political inclination."
"You should try the seeds of doubt. You will learn to criticize and raise doubts, will help you sound intelligent."
"I didn't get you. Could you elaborate?"
"It's really simple. While everyone has to engage in Twitter wars, no one really knows how to go about it. Say you are a left winger. You will end up receiving a plethora of choicest abuses by right-wing trolls, some right wingers will even come to you with arguments. To deal with these kinds of situations, you can buy our "potion of jargon to sound educated". It contains terms like sexist, racist, illiterate, xenophobic, casteist, fundamentalist and many more. These terms will automatically come out of you. You begin to identify these in every situation. If you take the advanced course, you will even be able to create these in different situations. Basically, you will end up staying at the top, in any discussion! Our guarantee!"
"And what do you have for a right-winger?"
"That's elementary, sir! The jar of nationalism sells most these days. Pills of religious identity are another great hit. These are some really good products. They never grow old. In our overseas stores, people buy denial of climate change as well, doesn't sell much in India though. "
"That's cool. And what about someone like me? I don't really have any particular political inclination."
"You should try the seeds of doubt. You will learn to criticize and raise doubts, will help you sound intelligent."
His subtle dig on my intelligence put me off. I realized I had learned enough for the day and it was time for me to wind up.
"Sounds cool... Thanks! But I guess I will pass. Sorry for bothering you..."
He took some pills, gulped them in and thanked me politely for visiting the store. Those were the famed pills of political correctness. Good for me!
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