Make India Great Again: Zero Hunger

Over 19 crore Indians sleep hungry.[1] I checked for who could be held accountable. Google tells it's been 71 years now since the British passed on the responsibility of keeping Indians hungry to ourselves.

We have tried all sorts of conventional means to fail in our responsibility including the public distribution of subsidised food grains, raising the income of poor, and food for work among others. Unfortunately, this has worked second only to Indian batsmen against swing bowling in England. In light of this revelation, it is only imperative that we try something unconventional.

Serve Pizzas
Indian efforts have so far been limited to providing foodgrains. This is so 20th century. This inward-looking attitude is responsible for the persistence of hunger. The 21st century is globalised. Hungry people don't want rice. They want global cuisines. They want their share of modernity and Pizza is a good start.

Make people eat their words
I am talking about killing two birds from one arrow. India is illiterate. India is hungry. Raise the hopes of citizens. They should be motivated enough to proclaim hunger will be eradicated. Once they are let down, they'll have to eat their words. Improved literacy rates - check; full stomachs - check!

Provide Packaged Air
Rope in Salman Khan. Cameras roll. Bhai tears a packet of air and feels full after feasting on it. This sets the wheel in motion. Now distribute packaged air for mass consumption and witness Placebo Effect in its full glory. Moreover, it's a win-win for all. The government doesn't have to spend money and people are no more hungry. The only other time everyone won despite contesting claims was Supreme Court's verdict on Aadhar.

Make hunger an act of sedition
Let us all be honest here for a moment. Hungry people are a blot on India. At every single forum, they tarnish India's reputation. They are a Rakhi Swant item song in an otherwise Sanjay Leela Bhansali directed India's growth story. Why then being hungry not considered seditious? IT IS AN ACT OF WAR AGAINST THE NATION!

Rajiv Gandhi Zero Hunger Programme
Most important of all, there is an urgent need of Shri Rajiv Gandhi Zero Hunger Programme. The purpose of the programme wouldn't be understandable to the masses and hence the inclusion of Shri Rajiv Ji's name in the title. By when would hunger be eradicated you ask? That depends on how long a tribute to Shri Rajiv Ji is befitting.

This is all I have to propose. Unlike politicians, I have nothing more to offer. Except perhaps a moment of remembrance to think about the ideals of the Father of the nation. There are people in the world so hungry, remarked Gandhiji, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

May the faith of hungry be rewarded with God's visit to him!

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