Stop Listening

Ever since he joined IIT Kanpur, Madhav wanted to attend the talks organized for the students. These talks are typically delivered by accomplished people. Madhav was quite fortunate. Only after two months of beginning college, he would listen to the inspirational Wing Commander Rakesh Sharma, the only Indian citizen to travel in space.

Wing Commander Rakesh Sharma inspired a generation of people to pursue their dream. He was all over the media. More importantly, it wasn’t just him who benefited from his work. The Indian Space program received a boost, and several kids wanted to become astronauts. ISRO also found itself receiving attention from talented scientists.

This is the legacy of Rakesh Sharma! On the contrary, do you know Madhav, the listener? Have you heard of him? No? 

That's the point. I don't remember him even though I studied with him. I don’t know where he is. I have absolutely no clue what's he doing with his life.

Winners are speakers. Winners talk and share their experiences. They command the attention of the people. Listeners, on the other hand, are ordinary, insignificant people. One amongst the thousands and lakhs. They are passive, lethargic, and laid back.

No wonder listening is overrated. Especially when you realize that most people, at best, are just average and, worse, abject failures. About 98% of people have an IQ score below 130. Around 46% of the population earns less than USD 5.50 per day. In 2010, only 6.7% of the world’s population had a college degree!

Fig: Helpful Diagram for slow learners

The verdict is clear - there is mediocrity all around. And if you listen to mediocre people, it’s only a matter of time before you become mediocre yourself. Research suggests that auditory learning is an essential way of picking things up. A child learns their first word by listening to their parents. The UP policeman shouted ‘Thain Thain’ after listening to cops in movies doing the same. An average cricket fan has begun to invoke Ben Stokes after a wicket falls. You learn by hearing. To stop learning from mediocre people, which includes practically everyone, you have to stop listening to people!

Any self-respecting person desiring to improve herself would quit listening. If you still need more reasons, read on.

Remember the self-help gurus telling you to be a better listener because it helps build better relationships? That it would lead to building trust and understanding. What if, after some time, you realize you didn’t want a good relationship in the first place?

Some people are acquired taste, others age like milk. Your so-called good listening skills may strengthen your bonds with people from the latter category. No one should be listening to a loudmouth motor only to realize later that they continue to be a loudmouth. I shudder at the thought of having a good relationship with my news anchors, so I have stopped listening to them. And boy, has it improved my life quality by leaps and bounds!

Julius Caesar considered Marcus Brutus, a friend. He lent his ear to Brutus and took his counsel. He listened to Brutus’s opinions and advice. Their friendship grew stronger, and he began to trust him. It was only when he had been stabbed that Caesar realized his folly.

You don’t have to exclaim ‘Et tu Brutus’ if you stop listening to people, thereby not giving a chance to them to betray you. Err on the side of caution, my friend!

It is said that listening helps eliminate conflicts. Some psychologists suggest so. But psychologists aren’t economists (duh!). And as per economists, conflicts are suitable for the economy. An article in The Economist says the threat of war can bring much-needed investment, whereas governments grow complacent at times of peace. The US economy has benefited a great deal from wars. Wars in various regions of the world boost the manufacturing industry of the USA, apart from bringing jobs for the people.

Taking this at a micro level, you need to have conflicts to stop yourself from getting complacent and investing in yourself. This requires you to stop listening and let conflicts brew. Once these conflicts reach the tipping point, you will be floating in a pool of firefighting, learning new skills, diffusing the situations, and improving yourself at a pace not seen in the history of humankind.

I was a broke, unemployed college graduate. I had been listening to way too many pieces of advice. And then it occurred to me. I was listening to everyone. When I stopped listening, that’s when my life turned into another chapter. My parents were patient enough with me so long as I was at least listening to their career advice. After I stopped caring, they gave me an ultimatum. The fire that ignited in me carried me through the Civil Services examination. 

Listening is unimportant. Listening is dull. Move on, do better things.